them or I?

list of choicesChanging roles a few months ago and evaluating different opportunities over the past few weeks made me think about the criteria I use to do so.

For example, while working at Tait and previous roles I steadily climbed the corporate ladder, gained clout, responsibilities, and enjoyed the success of projects. Surely this came with the price tag of accountability and personal availability. There is no free lunch. However, my point is, it was my choice. Several times during my career I made a case why it was good for the business to implement a change that was also good for me.

Some years ago, when I was looking for a new team manager, I encouraged the wider team to think about this opportunity. Only 2 gave it a shot, and one of these made a case for it. The one who didn’t, didn’t get the job. He initially looked for the reason outside of himself and blamed less exposure to this, more of that, etc. In a one on one discussion he discovered that wasn’t the case. He had all the options himself. He could choose to be involved in a project, learn an additional skill, or make a case for something he wants to do. It took him some time to act on it, and he certainly did later on.

I got reminded on that when reading this Forbes article on mentally strong people. The author lists 13 things

  • don’t waste time feeling sorry for yourself
  • understand you are in control of your actions and emotions
  • embrace change
  • don’t waste energy on things you can’t change
  • it’s not about pleasing others
  • take calculated risks
  • acknowledge the past, don’t dwell on it
  • learn from mistakes
  • don’t resent other people’s success
  • don’t give up
  • use alone time
  • the world doesn’t owe you
  • don’t expect immediate results

For me that list simply boils down to, can I control it or am I dependant on something or someone?

In 80% of the cases I have all the cards in my hands. I just need the courage to play those that suit my objectives and priorities.

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